The danger of insecurity
- Rick LoPresti
- 2 days ago
- 10 min read
According to Webster's Dictionary, insecurity is defined as "a state or feeling of anxiety, fear, or self-doubt, lack of dependability or certainty, and lack of safety or protection". Web.md says it is "a feeling of inadequacy (not being good enough) and uncertainty. It produces anxiety about your goals, relationships, and ability to handle certain situations". It also says there are different areas of insecurity, such as relationships, jobs, and body image. There are varied sources of insecurity, such as low self-esteem and perfectionism. Choosingtherapy.com also lists lack of family emotional support, lack of phyisiological needs being met, lack of emotional intelligence, lack of openness, lack of agreeableness, an underlying mental health condition, and an overdependence on others as sources of insecurity.
According to Abraham's Maslow's hierarchy of needs, there are five basic needs everyone has, and without them being met, we will feel insecure. They are:
They are described by the illustration of a pyramid. If these basic needs are not being met, a person will experience insecurity. At different times, we all experience insecurity. That is one of the keys to overcoming it, and not being stuck there. When we realize it is just part of the human experience in this fallen world short of heaven, we can defuse some of insecurity's tactics and find victory over it.
However, failure to address the causes of insecurity can lead to it paralyzing us. This is deeper than just recognizing the way it makes us feel emotionally. It is seeing "the man behind the curtain", the root causes. Too many people only address insecurity superficially and try to mask it with false solutions. We all wear masks. Sometimes it is not necessarily a bad thing, depending on the situation. For example, when facing an enemy, showing a face of strength so as not to expose our vulnerabilities may be a good strategy. Responding to a passing greeting with "I'm doing great" may not be a lie. It's just being positive and recognizing that the "Hi, how are you" is not usually meant as an invitation to have a lengthy conversation dealing with problems from your childhood. Masks become debilitating when we use them to avoid the issues of our lives. Hiding behind a mask is not an effective long-term strategy for spiritual health.
The period of time between the last book of the Old Testament and the first book of the New Testament is often called "the 400 years of silence". That is not really accurate. Although there was no scripture being inspired during that time, God was neither silent nor on a sabbatical. It is noteworthy that it was somewhere between 2,000 and 2,600 years between the creation and the first scriptures being written. This depends on if the book of Job was written first and when it was written. Moses wrote the first 5 books in the Bible around 1450 BC. God was certainly not silent or inactive during those years. However, it is important to consider the last words of the Old Testament as there would be no new scriptures written until after the Lord Jesus came, died, was buried, rose again, ascended to heaven, the church began, and the writers of the New Testament began their inspired writing around 50 AD. Malachi 4:5-6 says, "Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse." This was fulfilled by John the baptizer whose ministry was to prepare the people for the coming of the Messiah (Mt 3:3, Mt 11:7-15, Mt. 17-10-12, Lk 1:17, Lk 3:1-6, Jn 1:19-28). According to Malachi, part of his ministry was reconciling fathers with their sons, lest God smite the earth with a curse. We already have the curse of fatherlessness and its devastating effects on the family, children, and society. It is one of the main sources of insecurity. Too many young people are living under this curse, and left untreated it will destroy entire generations.
The Bible does talk about generational curses. They are even mentioned in the ten commandments (Ex 20:5). However, we must take the Bible as a whole and not pluck verses or part of verses out of that context. The same law of Moses that talked about generational curses also says. "The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin (Deut 24:16)". In 2Kings 14:1-6, Amaziah became king of Judah after his father Joash was murdered (2Ki 12:19-21). He immediately had the people that killed his father put to death, but he did not have their children killed because of Deuteronomy 24:16. Ezekiel 18 is an entire chapter dealing with the fact that God judges people individually and not based on the behavior of their parents. When Jesus healed the man who was born blind, He was first asked who had sinned, him or his parents, to cause this blindness (Jn 9). This shows the ignorance we can have about these things. The man was born blind. What sins could he have committed to be born blind? Jesus said it had nothing to do with generational curses, but God intended to use it for His glory. He healed the man.
God can use temporary insecurity to our benefit. It can make or keep us humble so that we don't rely on ourselves and exclude Him. It is not healthy to be totally self-reliant and refuse the help of God or others. We need to realize that without Him we can do nothing, especially the work of His kingdom (Jn 15:4-5). We should have a certain level of independence and self-reliance, but not to the point that we shut God and others out of our lives. Understanding that our sufficiency comes from God and not ourselves is not weakness. It is the most empowering thing one can realize (2Cor 2:16, 2Cor 3:5). Paul was not diminished by knowing that he depended on God. He was empowered to accomplish things he never could have on his own. He had a physical weakness that he asked God three times to remove. We do not know for certain what it was, although the evidence seems to point toward some affliction of the eyes (Acts 9:1-19, Gal 4:15, Gal 6:11, 2Thes 3:17). God told him that instead of healing him, He would give him grace to endure (2Cor 12:9). Through it, Paul learned to realize that through his weakness God could reveal His strength. When we understand this, our insecurities can have no power over us.
When I was a new convert to Christianity, I had never heard of Scientology. I was invited by someone to be introduced to it. After listening to the presentation, I informed the person that was talking to me that I am a Christian and trust in Jesus Christ to help me be the whole person I am meant to be. He replied that Christianity is just a crutch used by people who are not whole. I replied that Scientology is also a crutch, but it keeps people relying on themselves to save themselves instead of the true Savior, Jesus Christ.
Although God can use temporary insecurity to draw us to Himself, long-term insecurity can be dangerous to our wellbeing as well as those around us. Overly insecure people see others as a threat. They live in fear that someone will see through their mask of false security and in their mind expose them for being less than what they want people to think they are. They isolate themselves at least emotionally if not literally, and in extreme cases will lash out at others they fear. They will attack and belittle them so they can continue to maintain their mask. They will even attempt to turn others against them so the threat can be neutralized, at least in their distorted view of reality. They spend their time and energy maintaining their mask instead of enjoying relationships and getting the benefit they offer. We all have weaknesses and blind spots, so God gives us others to help us. When we reject that, we only diminish ourselves, not them; although we can certainly hurt others. This is true in all relationships, including in the church. The church is described as the body of Christ in which each member serves to help the others and contribute to the whole (Rom 12, 1Cor 12). Some people would rather cut off their nose to spite their face as the old saying goes than forego the facade and trust even their loyal friends. Instead, they force those who want to have relationship with them to deny what their eyes can plainly see. This makes all their relationships superficial at best, and toxic at worst.
These people blind themselves from seeing that their true self bleeds through their feeble attempts to cover it up. They are wearing the emperor's new clothes, as the tale by Hans Christian Anderson illustrates. Anyone who dares point out that the emperor is actually naked will be dealt with harshly.
Insecurity inevitably leads to hypocrisy. The root of hypocrisy is insecurity. The problem with the hypocrites Jesus faced was not their failure to be perfect. It was their refusal to admit it (Mt 23, Jn 8:31-59, Jn 9:41). Insecurity causes comparison, which is not wise (2Cor 10:12). Pride can be defined by comparing. It is trying to find self esteem through thinking I am better than someone else, or that I am better than I am. Again, the hypocrites The Lord faced are a perfect example. Jesus gave an illustration of two men going to pray (Lk 18:9-17). One was a Pharisee - a religious zealot but only outwardly (Mt 23), and one was a publican - a despised tax collector. The Pharisee prayed with himself about how he was better than the publican. The sound of his prayer just bounced off the walls an echoed in his proud ears. He was not connecting with God at all. The publican beat his chest and did not even feel worthy to lift his eyes toward heaven. He asked God to be merciful to him, a sinner. The Lord said this man was the one who went home justified in the eyes of God. The Pharisee was only just in his own eyes.
Self esteem can be ineffective when all it means is an attempt to convince ourselves that we are valuable. This can be another attempt to save ourselves instead of trusting God. Programs that teach self esteem without God only achieve temporary, superficial results. A better approach is what I call God esteem. When we come to understand how much God values us, it is a much stronger foundation of self worth. God made man in His image as His highest creation on earth (Gen 1:27). Man is more valuable to God than any animal (Mt 6:25-34, Mt 10:29, Mt 12:9-13). Jesus said that one soul is worth more to God than the whole world (Mt 16:26). In attempting to make a general determination of what the whole world is worth, I came up with an average value for a square foot of land around $500. That would mean that it would take about 550 quadrillion dollars just to buy all the land. Our souls are worth so much to God that He came in human form and died a gruesome death to save us (Jn 1:1-18, Jn 3:16, Jn 14:7-11, 2Cor 5:19, Col 2:9, 1Tim 3:16). When we see our value based on how much God values us, it can make us overcomers of all insecurity.
Christians who are the victims of their own insecurity spend their resources saving face instead of saving souls. They think like king Saul that they are victims of those who threaten them, when they are running off the very people God sent to help them (1Sam 17-26). Saul tried at least 20 times to kill David, his most loyal friend, because instead of seeing how much David was doing to advance his kingdom, he only saw David as a threat to his insecurity. David tolerated Saul's spear throwing until he could no longer do it. God sent Jehu to execute judgment on the house of Ahab, and he did that well (1KI 19:16-17, 2K 9-10). However, after he was done with that, he failed to keep God's commandments. Instead of trusting the God who had put him in his position, he feared that the Israelites would revert to king Rehoboam because the the temple was in his area of domain. He made up a new religion and staffed it with false priests. He made two idols which every generation after him worshipped to their destruction.
Insecure people will overcompensate for their weakness by overemphasizing their strengths and getting out of balance, instead of letting others who are strong in those areas help them. They project their weaknesses onto others and try to convince people that those they perceive as a threat are really the problem. They will shift blame and gaslight, which is the deceptive tactic of convincing others of a false version of what is really happening. This can be a symptom of narcissism with its big I's and little you's. This is not a sustainable model for healthy relationships. It stunts the growth of everyone including the insecure person.
The danger of insecurity is amplified in leadership. What might only affect a few people will affect the entire group when their leader is the captive of his own insecurity. It will affect every relationship individually and corporately. The organization will suffer and will fail to thrive. Loyalty is given out of fear instead of love, and Machiavellianism will prevail over the Biblical model. Machiavelli wrote a book called The Prince which can be boiled down to a few basic concepts:
1. It is better to be feared than loved.
2. Might makes right.
3. The end justifies the means.
Insecurity can be overcome with humility, an honest evaluation of self and the root causes, sorrow over the damage done and true repentance. When the insecure are faced with their dilemma, they will have to choose between a faked apology and sincere repentance. The deeper the issue is, the greater the grace of God will be to bring the insecure to a place of healing. God can even facilitate the reconciling of damaged relationships. It will probably not happen overnight, although God can do miracles. More often it will be a process. There will be painful parts, but it will be worth the results.
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